He leaned casually against the bar, sipping a beer and looking across the crowded dance floor. He had been at the popular nightclub for only an hour or so, and had at least fifteen or more girls take an interest in him. This wasn't new to him; he was gorgeous, and he knew it. His wavy blond hair, muscular arms, tall frame, and dazzling smile always drew extreme attention, no matter where he was.
After about another half hour of "scanning", he spotted her. She was sitting further down the counter with long red hair cascading down her back that contrasted beautifully against her low cut black dress. This was definitely a woman worthy of his time, and he eagerly pushed his way through the crowd. He was stopped several times by girls who brushed close against him, grabbing his strong arms and trying to pull him out to dance, but he could not be sueded. With his size it was easy to shake them off, and in moments he stood before his dream woman. Her large green eyes met his, and she smiled. For the first time in a long while, he felt his heart skip a beat.
There was a truly brilliant line he used a few times before, but only in the most extreme cases. This was definitely one of those times. Taking a deep breath, he raised his baby blue eyes to meet hers.
"Hi, I'm new in town, and I seem to be lost..."
"Oh?" Her smooth, silky voice caused the hair on his arm to stand on end.
"I was wondering if you could help me with some directions..."
'That's it,' he thought. 'This is in the bag. Pause for effect...pause for effect...'
"Yes? And where would that be?"
'Get ready...' he told himself...'Get ready...and BAM!'
Leaning in close, his mouth brushed against her ear. "Your apartment."
She sat back and looked at him with a smile playing across her lips.
"You can't be serious, can you? Did you just use that?"
'Uh-oh...panic..." he thought. 'This isn't how it's supposed to be. She's supposed to be smitten...'
"You're cute, you know that?" she laughed.
"I know. Many women think so. I've been told that on numerous occasions, however I like to think of myself as God's gift to women."
Her laugh faltered a bit, but her eyes still sparkled.
"You have a very interesting sense of humor. I like it. What's your name?"
"Gregory. Yours?"
"Rebecca."
"Well Rebecca, it was nice meeting you, but I think I have to go now."
"Really? Why?"
"You see, I fell for you pretty hard, and am on my way to my apartment for a band-aid."
She laughed, and again he felt his heart jump.
"Well, I feel partly responsible then. I think I should go with you to help out. I feel terrible."
Within minutes they were in his car, both of them laughing and joking. Soon after, they arrived at his apartment. Like a gentleman, he held the door open for her, and she flashed him another dazzling smile as she stepped inside.
With more than a few seconds look, however, it fell. Glass bowls glittered throughout the entire room; there must have been at least sixty in the living room alone.
"I see you've met my collection of fish...they're my children. They're the only ones that understand me in this cruel, harsh, cold world filled with despair."
"I...see..." she was shocked, and millions of second thoughts ran through her mind.
He walked over to one of the bowls, and put his cheek up against it.
"This one is my favorite. This is Balthazar the Beta. He's done so much for me. I don't know where I would have been without him." He stroked the glass for a few seconds, and looked up. "Why don't we have a seat on the couch? I'd like to get to know you better."
Reluctantly, she made her way over to the love seat he was pointing to, and he sat down beside her. He was about to make conversation when the phone began to ring. Irritated, he looked over at it with a scowl. "Just let the answering machine pick it up. It'll be fine."
"Hi, you've reached Greg, you know what to do. Now what do I...Mom? Mom, what button do I push now? Yes I've recorded what I want...Yes... Mom! I'm not an idiot! I always feel your cold stare judging me! Just tell me how to turn off the fu--" BEEP.
"Gregory? This is Mommy. How many times have I told you to change that damn machine? What will people think? You're destroying the reputation of this family--"
Angrily, Gregory got up, grabbing the phone from its hook.
"Mom? Hi, Mom, I'm busy. What? No, of course I want to talk to you. No, I know you brought me into this world, and I love you for it. Words cannot even begin to describe my thanks; I just have company over. I don't think that company is more important than you! Mom! Well, if you told me what button to push, we wouldn't have this problem. I understand it needs to be changed...but... You're coming tomorrow? Great. Balthazar has really missed you. No, I'm serious. He's quite depressed lately. Yes, the vet didn't really know what to do...stupid man. I'm thinking of grinding depressant pills in with his fish pellets. Yeah, he'll probably feel better. You're coming tomorrow too, so his condition will greatly improve..."
She sat on the couch in shock. After he got off the phone, she would tell him that she forgot about an appointment she had the next day, and that she had to go. About 10 minutes passed, and finally he hung up the phone with a smile.
"I'm so excited. My mother is coming tomorrow, and I can't wait for you to meet her."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm in love with you Rebecca. From the brief moment I saw you at the bar, I knew we were meant to be together forever. I think you're beautiful, and I know you probably can't resist my hot studly body. We're perfect for another. Think of the beautiful children we will have...they will be widely accepted by society."
"I'm sorry...I have to go."
"I was afraid of this. You don't feel the same way, do you? How can you not? How can you resist my buff body and awe-inspiring features?" Instantly, he slammed his head down on the table, and she gasped in shock.
"There is no reason to live anymore!" he howled as he sprang from the couch and into the kitchen. Cautiously, she followed, and found him tearing the contents from the fridge and flinging them across the floor, included all the shelves inside.
"What are you doing?" she shrieked.
"Throughout all my life, all I have known is cold despair, and icy hearts. I can't live like this anymore. I will end my life as I have lived it...with the aid of the chilling frost that has haunted me from birth." Within moments, he was crawling into the empty fridge, and as soon as he was inside he pulled the door shut.
"Goodbye Rebecca. Please remember me, and how you caused my untimely suicide."
As soon as he was out of view Rebecca took her chance to bolt, and ran to the door. It was locked. She tried the deadbolt and the smaller lock below it, but the door was jammed shut. In her horror, she heard the fridge open and Gregory fall out to the floor.
"GAHGAGHAG! It's soooo coooooold in there!" His whine echoed throughout the house, and in a panic Rebecca bolted down a stairway, hoping to hide from him until she could figure out a way to escape.
It was dark in the basement, and she stumbled across several stacked boxes knocking them over. The loud footsteps overhead stopped, then resumed running toward the direction of the crash. Quickly, she hid herself in a dark corner and held her breath. Moments later, she could hear him thumping and falling down the stairs.
"Rebecca!" a wild howl escaped his lips. "Rebecca! Look!" She peered out, squinting her eyes to see what he wanted to show her. His shoulders were heaving, and in each hand he held a celery stalk and a tomatoe. "Look Rebecca... When I caught the beauty of how well these went with each other, I realized I couldn't give up on you. We go together like celery and tomatoes. We match just like cole-slaw and potatoes. Our love can be as unified as brocolli and carrots... I need you Rebecca!" For a split second, he had turned his back and she took this opportunity to try and dart up the stairs.
She had almost reached the bottom stairs before he spun around. "Rebecca, there you are," his voice softened. "I'm ready to spend eternity with you," his hands caressed her face. Her head spun, and she had a hard time trying to steady the room before everything went black.
He leaned casually against the bar, sipping a beer and looking across the crowded dance floor. This was the 3rd time he had come back in just one night. He noticed a group of giggling girls in the corner, watching him and nervously looking away. He smiled, and began to push his way through the crowd.
